Charity, Hmmmmmmm

So today in Relief Society our lesson was on charity and made me think. I need to stop idling away on my worries. Yes I chose a harder path than I ever imagined possible, but the cool thing is I CHOSE IT. Why is one charitable, why do they serve? Is it the blessings or the feeling after that yes you did good. I honestly believe I serve others for peace of mind. When I forget to serve or forget that yes the world does NOT revolve around me, I loose it completely. Constantly crying and blaming others. I love that I realize this now and I hope this continues. I HATE NEGATIVE NANCY!

How brave you must be...

To tell a friend the truth knowingly that it could possibly crush them. They may cry until there no more tears to cry and all you did was tell the truth. Everyone just wants honesty in friends, family, strangers and everyone else. But tonight I wish they had just kept their lips sealed and just played my game. I don't know why it hurts so bad, but it does and I haven't stopped crying since then. Yes I know get over it, it is to save the friendship in the end, but today I feel betrayed. Soon I will feel better and I know its for the best but right now I feel like I was stabbed in the front.

Who to stand by....

I have always been a person to hold on to the illusion that everyone and I mean everyone has good intentions. With that I wonder who or what do I hold true to? I get a horrible feeling every time some one is put down and once again who do I stand by? I know that my family is one that I defend without batting an eye, but when it comes to friends when do I stand up or let things go? I live with wonderful people that I do not always see eye to eye, it is under our roof that I hear hurtfull words about people I care about. Is it consider betrayl to my roommates to not side with them? Yes I am entitled to my opinions, but to honestly say I disagree and don't ever bring it up again, is that an OK answer? Questions I try to answer daily and yet still have no clue to who I stand by?