What people complain about.........

So Im sick right now and I just want to get better. That is completely normal. But I'm tired of the sore throat, mucus, and lack of voice. Large amounts of tea I have consumed and cold meds. I don't want to cough or have a hard time breathing.

Today I was talking to a friend about having too many things, and getting too many gifts. Since I move so much it makes it hard, but really this is the dumbest thing I could complain about. I have people that love enough they want to spend time and money to find me a gift. A gift I love. Also I have enough money to buy extra items that I now complain take up too much space.

Wowie, this girl has some perspective that needs to be changing. Thanks to all the lovely blogs I get to read that remind me that my life is pretty darn good and all.

What a week.....

As I sit here trying to write a report I have been thinking about my week:

Bad Things:

• Told at work I'm too bossy (another thing to work on).
• Only exercised once.
• Rude people
• Discouragement

Good Things:

• Started a very fun bowling class
• Found out I got a 91.5% on a super hard midterm
• Went on a date with a kind man
• Spent time with my family
• Applied for graduation
• spoke with my bishop
• I have a good life.

************I remembered another one, I got a bonus check so I get to go shopping

So in my head it seems to be so much more, original bad list only had two items and my good list five items. But of course I focused on the two bad items.

During my one workout yesterday on the treadmill, I realized I am a good person, I have a good life and those who discourage me have pretty bad lives, are pretty bad people. So I need to remember where I am getting my data and that life is always better than you think. And that at the end of the day I have made the world a better place even if it was just that I kept breathing and my heart kept beating.

Sobs

I learned in a class last semester that for women crying releases a certain hormone that makes them feel better, but men do not have that luxury.

So I cry. A lot, expecially when I am mad or upset. I want to hurt something so I can feel better, but that is not an option so I resort to the sobs.

I usually feel better afterwards, or just need to sleep. I have limits and when I reach them I break and I break bad.

Times when I don't cry is sad events, funerals, farwells, or injuries. I just get stone cold and bottle it up. Then I may cry in bed alone out of anger of someone leaving or how dumb I was to get hurt.

Never the pain of loss, just loss of control.

I have been going to therapy to help myself feel and live in the moment. Manage my emotions to help me know that I am the captain of this ship. And as I cried tonight I lost control of my ship and it could have crashed, never to sail again, but I have understanding family and friends who know I am more than that out of control gal.

I am strong and today has made me stronger.