Feelings....

So today and yesterday have both been very emotional. I felt empty and discouraged. My faith in God was wavering. I have always known God as being loving and understanding but certain events that have happened lately have made me question. I feel like I work hard to keep my faith alive and present in everyday, but today I wanted to give up. Give in to the addictions and remove myself from a world I have worked so hard to become a part of. I questioned if it really was worth the pain and sorrow. I came up with a ton of what ifs. I understand that trials make us stronger but why when we are strong do bad things happen. Yes to make us more strong but I wish there was a point where we could be as strong as we ever could be. As a friend told me today you just want to shout to the heavens "please god just throw me a bone".