Sobs

I learned in a class last semester that for women crying releases a certain hormone that makes them feel better, but men do not have that luxury.

So I cry. A lot, expecially when I am mad or upset. I want to hurt something so I can feel better, but that is not an option so I resort to the sobs.

I usually feel better afterwards, or just need to sleep. I have limits and when I reach them I break and I break bad.

Times when I don't cry is sad events, funerals, farwells, or injuries. I just get stone cold and bottle it up. Then I may cry in bed alone out of anger of someone leaving or how dumb I was to get hurt.

Never the pain of loss, just loss of control.

I have been going to therapy to help myself feel and live in the moment. Manage my emotions to help me know that I am the captain of this ship. And as I cried tonight I lost control of my ship and it could have crashed, never to sail again, but I have understanding family and friends who know I am more than that out of control gal.

I am strong and today has made me stronger.